I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
