maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
