Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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