Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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