FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
