Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
