Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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