apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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