I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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