You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
