Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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