who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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