i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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