with your own penis?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
