Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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