walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
