Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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