Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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