I got chris browned last night
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
