Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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