I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
