If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Found your dick twin last night
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
