I think I died a long time ago.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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