I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
