my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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