who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
