Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
