I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
