Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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