I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
