That's intense
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
