I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
