Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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