If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
