a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
