so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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