Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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