I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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