I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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