My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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