he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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