what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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