i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
