I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
