All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Someone came in the potted fern
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
