sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize