Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He shit in the fireplace
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
