I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
