YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
