And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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