that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
