She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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