Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
