Define "chronic" masturbator.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
did i walk over a car last night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
