Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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