frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When are your genitals available?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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