I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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