i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
