Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
