Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
