Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
