he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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