I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize