One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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