I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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