Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
