you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
