Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
