Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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