She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
