ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
