Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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