I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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