"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
