Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
