a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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