So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
