What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
